What is self-esteem?
What you think of yourself can be based on many things. For example:
- How you were brought up and treated as a child
- How you did at school
- Your relationships with other people (friends, family, partner)
- The job you have
- Where you live
- How successful you think you are, or can be
- Your strengths and weaknesses
- What you believe others think of you
People can find that how they feel about themselves can change from time to time. Yet some people find they don't feel good about themselves a lot of the time. They may have low self esteem. Your childhood and teenage years are very important for your self esteem. What happened to you and how you were treated during that time will affect how you think of yourself as an adult.
Experiences and self-esteem
Experiences that can lead to good self esteem :
- You were listened to.
- Praised
- Given attention
- Felt loved
- Got along with friends
- Success at school, or sports
- Treated with respect
- Had chances to do things
Experiences that can lead to low self esteem :
- Criticised a lot
- Ignored, neglected, or abused
- Bullied or made fun of
- Made to feel that not being perfect was a weakness
- Didn't do so well in school, or in sports
- Were different to those around you
- Brought up in a bad area
You will form basic ideas about yourself from what happened to you in the past. Yet what happens to you as an adult can also affect your self esteem.
For example:
- Excessive or harsh criticism
- Not feeling that you fit in, for example, at work, or in a new area
- Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
- Your appearance
- Financial worries
- Stress at work, or losing your job
- Difficulties with those close to you (for example, your family, friends, or partner)
- Separation, or divorce
- Traumatic events (for example, accidents, being assaulted, someone close dying)
- Illness, or health problems
You will have an idea of what you are actually like and what you would like to be. A big difference between these views can affect your self esteem.
You also have a view of how others see you and what they would like you to be. Again, if these are different, they can affect what you think of yourself.
